Crystal Cantrips

Interlude with the Bard

Do You Want to Build a PC?

[knocks on your door]
Yes I wanna build a PC
A sexy angel-faced dance baaaaaard
I have no idea where to start
I really hate this part
It shouldn’t be this haaaaaaaard
But that’s what I have you for!
You’re the best DM
I’d be kinda lost otherwiiiiiiiiiise
Do you wanna build a PC?
I should really name my PC……
Anyway, hi!

My Slots

[SHIRA]

Only nineteen, but my mind is older
These Victorian trees get colder, I shoulder
Ev’ry burden, ev’ry disadvantage
I have learned to manage, I don’t have an axe to brandish
I walk these paths dance-ish
The plan is, to prove I’m ‘venturesome, not tame
(But damn it’s gettin dark so let me light up this game
I am an

[EVERONE]
A-D V-E N-T U
R-E R and I’m gonna do

[SHIRA]
The things that nobody thought I could
And we’re up against evil so I’m fighting for good
I know I should, So I’m fighting through these woods
Meanwhile, homeless guy’s fuckin’ up my neighborhood
He ain’t never gonna let these civilians be
So we are gonna mount a rescue in this century
Enter me!

[EVERYONE]
(She says in parenthesis)

[SHIRA]
Don’t be shocked when I make this guy turn and flee
I will do what it takes just to keep us free
Eventually you’ll see my ascendancy!

And I am not throwing away my slots
I am not throwing away my slots
Hey yo, we’re young, scrappy casters
Some clerics and some bastards
And I’m not throwing away my slots

[EVERYONE]

And I am not throwing away my slots
I am not throwing away my slots
Hey yo, we’re young, scrappy casters
Some clerics and some bastards
And I’m not throwing away my slots

Jingle Bells – Arctic Remix

Dashing through the snow
In a two-bear open sleigh
Over the ice we go
Napping all the way
Bells on skull bears ring
Don’t ask them why they’re white
We haven’t seen the sun in days
It’s arctic winter night!

Oh!
Jingle bells, Khemed smells
Fenrir laid an egg
Jane’s from hell, Odin saved Kel
And Shira does ballet
Hey!
Jingle bells, Khemed smells
Fenrir laid an egg
Jane’s from hell, Odin saved Kel
And Shira does ballet

The Commoner’s Hymn to Ra

Our god is up above the sky,
He sends the sunlight down.
We bask in adoration
Below his golden crown.

REFRAIN:
Praise the sun god!
Praise to Ra, the lord of lords!
He sends us the sunlight!

The gaze of Ra is terrible:
His glance melts flesh off bone.
So forget the sins of other folk
And look unto your own!

REFRAIN

Comments

lucidobservor lucidobservor

I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.